Dear Dad: The One With the Mom on the Edge and the Dad Who Should Be in Hell

Dear Dad,
I will try to keep this brief, but I feel I'm on the edge of breaking and will end up ranting. I have two children ages 13 and 9. Their biological father hasn't seen them since the end of July. Now this is because an investigation was opened regarding him and my nine-year-old who was interviewed by the police and the state police and the Child Safety Center and numerous other people.

Here it is months later and he hasn't spent one night in jail. The only punishment he is getting is losing contact with the girls. This is the ultimate punishment, but I don't feel it's enough. "Lack of penetration" deemed this case unnecessary for certain people to step in that could actually process this properly. I've spent the last several weeks attempting to contact the police and other people involved in the investigation. However it seems like I'm getting the runaround.

Monday morning their biological father texted me. He had the audacity to ask if he could have the girls this weekend. This is not happening. I've already been advised that my thirteen-year-old is old enough to stand in front of a judge and say she's had enough of him, and considering the circumstances that my nine-year-old could do the same. I just feel very frustrated. My nine-year-old is terrified that someone somewhere will try to force her to go back to her biological father's house.

I'm not really sure if I'm asking for advice. What I am really wanting is to get this out there. People need to talk with their children. Trust their children. And protect them from those that do them harm - even if it's another parent!

***

Dear 'Edge',

I've been trying to wrap my brain around the situation you are describing, and I think part of why I haven't run a column in a few weeks is how disturbed I am by your question.

I'm confused. There is enough evidence where he can't see your children, but due to "lack of penetration" he has not been prosecuted? Where do you live? Have your children gone through forensic testimony (which is fucking horrible, but sometimes necessary) in order to prosecute? If you have a nine-year-old child and a thirteen-year-old child who can corroborate a report of sexual abuse, what is going on with your local law enforcement?

I do have to say that in any investigation, including those involving SVU, they take TIME. These investigations take an impossible amount of time where the piece of shit perps walk around, even near their victims before ANYTHING is done. I promise you, 'Edge', they do get dealt with and justice does prevail and I'm hoping that is what is going on in your situation. I know three months feels like an eternity, but in legal terms, it isn't that long (I'll bet you will hear something around Christmas time/the turn of the year).

I appreciate your question and hope enough people read it to reach anyone who may be in your situation because your desire to spread the message of listening to and protecting your children is ESSENTIAL.

You need to trust your gut and listen to your children and under NO circumstances allow that piece of shit anywhere near your kids.

But that is not enough. I don't know why your local DCF, SVU, and any other law enforcement department is failing you, but they ARE FAILING YOU!

Please immediately contact this organization:

National Sexual Assault Hotline, from RAINN.org
800.656.HOPE (4673)

If I were you, I would start making daily phone calls to my local department of children and family services, local school system, my local police station, and local media outlets (on the condition of complete anonymity - very important, you don't want to bring unneeded attention to your children who are already going through a lot).

I would make these calls in concert with putting everything in writing and sending time/date marked emails, as well as sending correspondence to your state's attorney general, as well as the contacts I've listed above via certified/return receipt requested letters. Make note of any and every contact he makes and create a diary of events as described by your children! I would wake up the next day and do it again. And again. And again. And again - until SOMEONE listens!

Above all else, 'Edge', you need to follow your gut and protect your children. Don't let that bastard near them. If he puts up a stink, call the police and show them your history after following my advice on the above.

Praying for you and and your children and sending good thoughts and energy. Please keep us updated!

***

What does everyone else think? Any other advice for this mom (and hopefully that echoes my initial reaction to this post which was not fit for printing)?

If you are in this situation, follow this link

***

photo: flickr/Ben Seidelman

The One With the Pig and the Work Floozy

Dear Dad,

My husband and I have been married for six years. I just proved this past January that he has been "dating" a girl at work off and on for the past four years. Looking back it had to be around the time that he started suggesting we hang out with her and her husband that they started to see each other. We on occasion went out together as a double date for drinks or to shoot pool. She knew he was married with two kids before they ever took it past talking.

He has started to try to be more of a part of mine and the kids lives since I confronted him with proof this time (I couldn't prove but have brought up their relationship several times in the past- back then you couldn't read what was in the texts but could see how many was going to and from who. 1,000+ texts in one month alone between the two of them and they were always deleted from his phone).

So here is my question: for years I have wanted another baby, he always said no. Recently he has started suggesting that we try for another baby. I can't help but wonder if his motivation for wanting another child is to pull me back in because since I have proven his infidelity I have not been the sweet and out going person he married. I am not so ready to jump into bringing a baby into our mess, but am I wrong for that? He still works with that woman and I feel like maybe the craziness of the whole new baby journey might push him back to her. The six weeks after our youngest child being born was when they started "talking as friends."

Signed,

The "Work Wife"

Dear "Instincts,"

I changed your name because I feel it is more fitting for your question. You have a gut instinct on what to do, and you need to trust it. Never use a baby as a marriage/relationship band aid. It would not be fair to the unborn child nor your other kids, and I promise you it won't work and you may find yourself the single mother to three children instead of two.Is that really something you are prepared to face?

You have some questions to ask yourself. First, are you interested in an open marriage, because you are married to someone who clearly lacks the ability to be monogamous. As I've mentioned in my column before, my wife and I began in an open relationship. We didn't believe in monogamy, nor a traditional marriage. When push came to shove, it did not work for us and led to a six year break up. For some people, it works. It didn't work for us and from what I gathered from your question, I don't think it would work for you either.

My issue with your situation is that he didn't just "cheat" on you - he had an ongoing relationship with someone he has an intimate and daily connection with. I call that a special kind of pig. If he wanted an open relationship, he should have discussed it with you and not gone behind your back. I wondered if perhaps he and work floozy and her husband were going to ask you to swing (I always go with my gut when I read a question). It does not seem from your question, though, that the issue was ultimately about sex or lacking the ability to be monogamous - he full on had a secret relationship with another person! How does that make you feel?

Second, why are you still in your marriage? Is your husband providing everything you need to remain the "sweet outgoing person" you were when you got married and that you deserve to be? Are you growing together as a couple and as a team? Is this what you signed up for?

Third, if a man disrespects you so much that he takes you on double dates with work floozy and her husband, what does that say about what he thinks of you? Do you think that gesture means he thinks you are a smart, deserving woman? Or, does he think you are a clueless doormat?

The solution to your problem is not avoidance and bringing another human being into the mix. You need to answer the questions I asked you for yourself and then get into some counseling - both with your husband and for yourself. I believe every marriage is worth working on to fix. I just just worry that you have been an afterthought and so horribly betrayed.

It is going to take a lot of work, blood, sweat, tears and rebuilding of trust for this story to have a happy ending. Regardless, I wish YOU a happy ending because you can have any life that you want. Make sure you prioritize yourself - he sure hasn't been. <3

Readers - what are your thoughts? Could you stay with someone who had a long-term, secret, ongoing intimate relationship with someone else?

***

photo: flickr/

ryan remillard

Dear Dad: The One With The "Me Time" Question

Dear Dad,

My wife suggested we put our three kids in after school care to free up time for us through the week. Our kids are in 1^st, 2^nd, and 7^th grade and their schools are far enough away where I have to leave work early to pick them up and then work from home for a couple of hours at night, and where my wife has to cut short her afternoons to make sure she is home with them when we get home.  We only have one vehicle, so timing all of this really sucks.  The younger kids take the bus, but the bus stop is a hike away, as is the middle school where our son is a walker, and we live in an unpredictable climate. 

Here is my dilemma:  I don’t really want to spend the money.  It is going to cost a lot out of pocket for this, and I don’t know that I want to spend that much. We have the money to spare, but is it worth it? I also worry about taking away family time through the week, as the weekends are hectic with our kids all enrolled in a ton of activities. 

I also have a small business I would like to get off the ground, and never have any time to do it.  My wife rides her bike everywhere, and often has to leave things she is in the middle of to make sure she is home in time for the kids so I can finish my work day. 

I’m stumped.  Advice appreciated.

Dear ‘Stumped’,

Have you ever heard of “me-time?” ‘Me-time’ is this unicorn-esque, urban-legend-like amount of time where both members of a partnership step away from their parental/spousal/adult roles and responsibilities to revisit themselves and spend time working on whatever that means to each individual. 

For some it means relaxing – taking a nap, or catching up on a favorite show, or maybe even a prolonged soaker-spa bath.  For others, it means reading up on a hobby, or investing time into creating the business that has been on their to-do list for years (perhaps even dusting off an old guitar?).  In other words, “me time” is paramount to every.single.person.ever!

If I had received this question when I first started this column, I know my answer would be different.  I would have talked about the importance of structure, stability, and centeredness of your children and how paramount that must be in how you build your schedule.  Hogwash! 

My children are getting older (the twins are 7 and our oldest is 11), and I have found that the need for “planned-to-the-minute-through-the-week-schedules” are nonsensical.  They are not productive for anyone.  I used to feel guilty if I let a 20 minute time slot fall unplanned – only to realize, I was drowning at the surface of the water levels I created. I was feeling like a failure in the jaws of victory, simply because I felt I should always be doing more. 

My advice, ‘Stumped’, is to try this new free time for both yourself and your wife.  Keep in mind that you will be eligible for some type of tax write off (though, don’t get me started – it is not what it should be).  Try giving yourselves a life line and see where it leads.  What if allowing yourself this extra time frees up enough “me time” to get that business off the ground?  What if allowing your wife this extra time allows her to find a way to revisit her own dreams, and/or gives her a sense of balance she would not have otherwise?

I am a firm believer that “me time” replenishes individuals to be more involved, more motivated, and more present during family time.  My wife and I have always had ‘me time’ in place, and a give and take to make sure we each have it every week. As our children are getting older, we are both daring to do more with it – and I have embarked on new journeys I could not have otherwise, and she has finally gone back to get a degree that her job has necessitated for years.  When our “me” time is over, we engage with our children who also had “me time” and share the stories of our days.

You don’t ever want to look back and say “what if.”  Try the afterschool care for a bit and see how it works.  If you find yourself not being productive, and not accomplishing anything reconsider it.  If the children are miserable and missing you and your wife, pull the plug.  The worst case scenario in trying is realizing it wasn’t a good fit for you and your family.  The best case scenario is unlocking this great opportunity for your entire family to all give yourselves the “me time” needed to be able to fully give to the “us time” that makes a family function well.

Good luck!

 

We are all busy and over extended, trying to keep above water with family, career, and self-obligations.  How many people have “me time” incorporated into their weekly schedules?

I

Yes, Dad's a Man - But We CAN Talk About That

"Daddy!" I heard my daughter scream from behind the bathroom door.  In a sheer panic, I dropped my kitchen knife that was chopping onions for dinner that strewn about the floor as I rushed to the bathroom door to make sure my daughter was OK.

My heart was pounding out of my chest and I frantically yelped, "What? Honey, what is it? Are you ok?"

"No.  I need Mom."

"Mom's at work."

"But I NEED HER!"

I quickly realized she did not, in fact, trip and split her head open on the tub, nor did so sever a finger on one of my razors (though the urgency in her muffled scream promised otherwise).  She needed her mom because she had a "girl question," and since my wife would not be home for another hour, I was her only available option for advice.

"We've talked about this before, hon. I have never gotten my period, and I don't know what it feels like - but I know all the ups and downs and ins and outs and we can discuss this." 

Silence.

Earlier this year, I had a brush with my daughter getting her first period on my watch.  I truly believed she had gotten her period, and panicked a bit (though held myself together as much as I could to act like I wasn't phased).  I wrote an article that tried to take a humorous perspective on the event (which did not actually happen that day), and had it published a few months later.  In a fascinating timing of destiny, my eleven year old daughter got her period the day the article was published.  She had read (and approved) the article before I submitted it for publication, so we had already begun a dialogue (and shared some laughs - link to the piece is below).  I knew 'silence' should not be accepted at face value.

"Remember how you thought it was funny when you read how 'brave' I was being when that incident happened with the popsicle, and you told me you saw right through it?"

"Um, yeah."

"I think we've come a long way since then and I truly am brave and am someone you can talk to if you need to, or ask questions if you have any."

Silence.

"OK, if you change your mind, I am going to finish making dinner," I assured her.

As I turned back towards the kitchen, I heard the lock on the handle click as my daughter emerged from the bathroom looking absolutely miserable.  "Daddy, why do I feel like this?"  

I gave her a hug and then guided her towards the kitchen where I prepared a cup of chamomille tea and warmed a damp dishtowel in the microwave.  

"Here put this on your belly under your belly button," I advised, as I handed her the dishtowel.  I cleared my throat and gave my daughter that little 'we're about to get real' look I sometimes give her, as I added honey and lemon to her tea.  I continued,  "Your body is going through a lot of changes, as you know, and you are going to start experiencing your period every single month soon. You are lucky because as a female you are able to have kids, but with that gift comes this responsibility that can often feel like a curse or a burden."

"Why do we have to go through this every month?  I get so upset and emotional and I don't know why and then I hurt.  It makes we want to rip my hair out of my head."  

I chuckled to myself at the thought that I will soon have three daughters going through this and a wife in menopause.  I scrambled to find next words and offered, "I don't know why it has to be every month, and I don't know that it is fair that it has to be every month (in my head: for ANYONE!). The key is for you to recognize when you need some extra "me" time and take a step back from whatever you are doing.  Have a cup of tea.  Put a hot compress on your belly to help with the pain, and sit in a quiet room for a few minutes to regroup.  If you have symptoms that get worse, there are pills you can take, but I want you to try to follow these steps so you will learn now that your period doesn't have to be a bad thing.  It will be more like an inconvenience.  Don't allow all the feelings to take over your mood or ruin your day, and get ahead of the physical symptoms to make sure you feel well."

My daughter gave me the most beautiful and reassuring smile as though a lightbulb clicked on for her.  She cracked the half grin which means 'you're great dad' that she does every so often. I put my hand under her chin and winked and smiled, and returned to chopping onions. I motioned to her to join me in preparing dinner and she started peeling potatoes.

"So you basically have no idea or clue what you are talking about, but I can still go to you when I am scared?"  she asked in a slyly sarcastic undertone.

Without skipping a beat, I said, "You catch on quick, push-push (her nickname). I do my best, but I don't have all the answers. I imagine if I were faced with what women have to endure, that is what I would do." My daughter rolled her eyes and mouthed a dramatic "WOW" and smiled.

We both chuckled and prepared dinner while talking about school and work. My wife came home from work and had a conversation with our daughter and all was well in the world. 

I checked my email later that night, and push-push had sent me an email from the account we created for her to email her friends from her old school after we relocated.  I opened it up and found: "Dad, thank you for today and for actually being brave this time.  I don't think you were right, and that towel didn't do anything but make my shirt damp. I feel like I can talk to you about anything. I love you." 

I sighed and smiled at the same time, wishing I knew everything, but glad I handled the situation as well as I could.  I wrote back and told her that I am a parent and an adult, but I do not have all the answers (no one told me that as a kid).  I promised to always be there for her and that she could turn to me with EVERY question she ever has - I am strong enough and brave enough to handle anything." 

The next day I received another email asking me how she can tell if a boy likes her.  She is eleven. THAT is a lot to process, but I have seen her and a boy in the neighborhood interact several times where it is obvious "that" time is not far off.  I wrote back and advised her that I knew she liked (name redacted), and since I have seen how he regards her, and have witnessed how he will walk away from the other boys to walk with her, and listens to her and asks her questions, that most likely he likes her and that he is a good boy.

Later that night, she responded, "(name redacted)???  EW, gross Dad!  I meant (name redacted of two years older hockey playing boy who I am not particularly fond of)!!"

I have this sense of being on a precipice, and know that free-falling is not an option.  My daughter and I have since continued these email conversations on a daily basis.  Sometimes she just says "hi" (like back when she was to and would just randomly say 'hi'), and sometimes I get hard hitting questions.  I am not google and I am not female, but I am a father who loves and adores his kids.  I may not have all the answers, but I hope we maintain this connection and openness so that at least my empathy and understanding come through in the whirlwind that is about to guide the next years.  

The one that did not stump me

Dear Dad,

I have one that is going to stump you. I was raised to respect my elders, and to grin and bear anything for the sake of keeping others comfortable, especially when they are guests in my home. My husband and I are both liberal Democrats and politics are important to us, but aside from voting and following the news and elections it ends there. My in laws, however, are die hard conservative Republicans and have something to say on everything from abortion, to gay rights, to illegals, to any type of entitlement "lazy bums" think they are entitled to!

My father in law is the worst. He arrives at my home and starts spewing off news stories like he was a ticker on fox news and does this in front of my young children. My husband knows it bothers me, but what he doesn't know is that I am about to go off on them! They came to dinner last week and started talking about the next presidential run and going off on what a moron Hilary Clinton is and how "only a woman would have 30,000 personal emails to delete as the secretary of state."

I don't want to rock the boat, but what do I do? I don't think I can sit through one more minute, never mind this Sunday's dinner with these people!! I love them, but what do I do?

Dear 'Did Not Stump Me',

I, too, have in laws and outspoken family and friends, and assure you, 'Did Not Stump Me', that you did not stump me, and I hope I can help you. I also frequently host dinner parties which are both work and friend oriented, and know that the first rule of thumb as a host: NEVER allow political, religious, or money talk. I have mastered the art of changing subjects when something controversial comes up, and pat myself on the back with my ability to keep the evening flowing in a peaceful and enjoyable way. When it comes to family, however, it is a whole different beast.

I, too, was raised to make sure those around me are comfortable while hosting a party, even if it is just dinner with my mom. I also have outspoken family members in my own and in my wife's family. My way of dealing with outspoken opinions is to cordially respect what someone is saying, and revert to my "change the subject super powers" as needed. When one crosses the line into 'newsfeed banter', however, I approach my wife and we discuss how to put the kibosh on things immediately.

We, too, have a family member or four who say things they should not be saying in front of six year old children and that crosses the line into inappropriate. We have confronted these family members - GENTLY - and advised them that current events are not part of the curriculum for our children, and that while we respect his/her opinions, we would like to reserve these types of discussions for when the children are sleeping, or when our hearing has completely failed. HA! OK, so maybe not that last part, but the point is we are direct, even when sometimes it feels uncomfortable.

My advice is for you and your husband to confront your in laws about this subject and communicate how you are feeling. I think setting boundaries is especially important when these conversations are taking place in your own home. Yes, they are your elders, but that is YOUR home and it is YOUR rules. You should never, even as host, be made to feel uncomfortable in your own home. You also have a right to communicate these feelings in their home because you are being a good parent. Why should anyone be discussing current events around small children? They should not be, it is inappropriate.

I send you good thoughts and energy, as you are going to go through something uncomfortable. I want you to ask yourself, 'Did Not Stump Me', at the end of the day: do you want to have one uncomfortable dinner with your in laws, or a lifetime of what you have been enduring?

We all have that outspoken friend or family member who takes things too far during normal conversation, or even on their social media accounts. How do you deal with the outspoken in your life?

The One With The Mom Who "Feels Wrong"

Dear Dad,

Please post this anonymously. My ex husband and I have been separated for 6 years and divorced for 1 year. We have both moved on as he is with another girl and I'm getting remarried in May.

My oldest son with my ex husband now has a cell phone. I look through my son's phone, as he is only 10, and discovered a text message sent to his dad's girlfriend that said: "I love you mom and dad". Now, mind you this lady has only been in his life for a year, and his dad has only been around for two. I get very upset hearing my son call her 'mom'. Am I wrong in feeling this is wrong?

Dear 'Feeling Wrong',

My answer, here, supersedes any prior advice I have given on this subject. I answered a similar question not long ago, and the feedback and discussion which followed my advice made me re-think my perspective.

One year hardly constitutes a girlfriend/boyfriend qualifying as a parent, step parent, or even parental figure. I believe it is inappropriate for your son to refer to your ex husband's girlfriend as "Mom." What if they break up? What if they never marry? I think even for a ten-year-old, calling two people 'Mom' is confusing (heck, I'm 40 and I won't call my mother-in-law 'Mom' as I already have a 'Mom' - but I also don't want to disrespect her, so I often just refer to my mother-in-law as: "Will you please pass the gravy?" or "Hey, do you know what time it is?" grin emoticon ).

I have several questions the information in your question does not provide answers to, but at the end of the day I am going to go with the consensus and with what I learned on this topic: it is NOT OK for your son to call his father's girlfriend of one year 'Mom', and you should immediately put the kibosh on him doing so.

My wife comes from a blended family, and we have Grandma, Nana, and Mee-Maw. My advice is to have your son and ex and ex's girlfriend come up with a title which is more respectful than calling her by name, but more appropriate to her role (and, while I don't know your feelings on the subject, I will assert here that: "Daddy's ho" or anything of that nature will probably not fly - in fact, probably you should not vote on her title). wink emoticon

I do have to add that once you are married in May, so long as your spouse is acting as a parent to your son, I find it completely appropriate for your son to refer to your new husband as "pop" or "Dad (whatever your last initial is)". If one is in a committed long term relationship and their spouse/partner is acting as a parental figure, they have earned the right to the appropriate parent-implying title. Please keep us updated and let us know what happens.

I believe a name is just a name, except when it comes to a situation like this. I once advised someone that if someone acts as a parent, they deserve to be called as such, without taking into consideration that duration and longevity play a crucial role in what a child calls a parent's current flame where there is no long term commitment nor deserved role for such a title. Do any of you have any experience with what to call a step-someone-my-parent-is-dating who is not married, nor engaged/planned to be married nor in a long term committed relationship anytime soon?

Dear Dad: The One With the 'New Big Sister'

Dear Dad,

I found out about six months ago that I have a half sister my mother had given up for adoption before I was born. The adoption agency contacted my mom (who had not told any of us we had a sister), and advised that she wanted to get in touch with us. We talked a bit and are friends on Facebook and finally we all met recently.

It is hard on my end because my mom is weird about it and doesn't really want to talk about the situation. When my sister came to visit, it fell to me to entertain her. My younger brother - who can do no wrong in my mom's eyes - is no help and I don't think cares about the situation as much as I do.

My sister and I now talk a few times a week on Facebook and just had a serious conversation where she confessed to me she does not feel like she belongs. I do not want her to feel that way, and I started a letter to her explaining how my mother is and how I sometimes feel like I don't belong, too (my brother is very much favored by my mother).

It has been a long road and I feel like I've completely changed since finding out I have a big sister. Do you have any advice?

Dear 'New Little Sister',

My mother discovered about ten years ago that her father was not her biological parent and had adopted her. We searched for years to find her biological family, and finally tracked them down using Facebook a few years back.

Last week my mother, sister, and I traveled to New Orleans, LA and finally got to meet her brothers and sister and their families. It was a life changing experience for all of us. I look like my uncle and my mom has the same hands as her sister! Everyone looked a bit like my brother (who my sister always joked looked like the milkman as he never looked like anyone in our family) and have the same laid back, loving demeanor as my mom! Meeting everyone was a little nerve wracking at first, but by the time we left, I was taken aback by how quickly these strangers felt like family - I felt connected to them and related to them and had a sense of family I had never before experienced.

I confess that during the visit a political subject or two came up that led me to believe we may not see eye to eye on everything. I felt a bit uncomfortable and worried that these differences in opinion would mean we could never truly fit in with each other, or be able to have conversations about certain things. I realized the feeling of kinship and intrinsic love I felt for these people was so much stronger than difference in perspective that none of that mattered. They are my blood, my kin, my family, and I would give the shirt off my back for any one of them and that is after only meeting once.

I understand the sense of not fitting in, and certainly the shock and amazement of discovering these roots, as you must have with your sister. Had my mother's father (my GRANDFATHER) been alive for this reunion, I imagine he would have experienced this gathering a bit differently than we all did as it would conjure up a lot of hard feelings from his past.

I would assume, based on the information in your question, that your mother may be a little embarrassed and have a lot of emotional baggage regarding an impossible decision she made years ago. I can only imagine that this carefully shrouded secret coming to light must have been a mixed bag of emotions. I know it is easier said than done, but try to look at this from her perspective and the difference between learning something amazing (albeit shocking) as you experienced, versus a secret coming to light that probably brings feelings of shame and guilt and devastation, as this situation must have for your mother.

My advice would be to approach your mother and let her know that you are not judging her or the decision she made many years ago (I'm assuming from your question you are not), and that you are just happy to know the truth and want to work as a family at building a relationship with your sister.

I think you should absolutely finish that letter to your sister, and describe and explain your family and specifically your relationship with your mom to your sister. Let her know that there are preexisting dynamics within your family that are not about her, even if she is made to feel uncomfortable or feels responsible for the tension she is sensing. I would explain that neither the past, nor any member of your family/their experience should ever have anything to do with your connection as sisters. Tell your sister you are glad she is in your life and how much it means to you and how much you have changed after learning of her existence.

In time, the two of you can become a united front when your "perfect" brother says or does something amiss and the two of you can put him in his place as all good big sisters do!

I wish you and your newly extended family all the best! Keep us updated!

Facebook and social media is such an invaluable tool for communication, and I know firsthand how it can literally change your life. Do any of you have any stories about reconnecting with or finding family and friends thanks to Facebook?